I was talking to a friend on my drive home from the office a few days ago. She was telling me that she is going on a trip and is already feeling nervous. She is going to be around women that have always intimidated her. I found myself uttering the words that I am constantly having to tell myself – and in God’s fabulous humor – words I need to hear more often because I tend to forget my own advice:)
The truth she was telling herself is that she is not equal to these women – they are farther along in their careers, have done more in life, have better lives – that whole “the grass is always greener and looks that way because we only put the BEST of ourselves on our Social platforms”…The truth of the matter is that we ALL have ups and downs and NO ONE should feel less than due to another person’s success or status…
But how do we make that a reality? I mean, seriously Courtney, I feel that way ALL THE TIME!
We have to CLAIM the TRUTH. For me it means recognizing that I’m a child of God. He created ME…The timing had to be perfect or I’d be someone else…I could be a BOY or I could HATE to read! But no, mom and dad did things at the right moment and they got ME (thanks to Gary Vaynerchuk who puts this way more elegantly than I just did:)
So what does that have to do with claiming the truth? Well, recognizing that you are YOU and no one else. You have a specific set of skills, qualities, character, etc. that make you unique.
When thoughts come to our mind we need to offset them. We’ve trained our brains over time to believe what we say…and if you’re a parent you may have experienced this with your kids. “Mom, I CAN’T do it!” and my response is: “Get rid of the word CAN’T!” Why do I say that to my kids? Because if they say they can’t that is the word their brain will hold on to and they will begin with a defeatist attitude.
A few months ago I was listening to a podcast and the gist of it was that we need to speak words of affirmation over ourselves and speak with a positive mindset. EVERY. DAY. We need to retrain our brains to think in the positive INSTEAD of in the negative. In other words…when our brain tells us one thing…we are going to voice the TRUTH. Out loud if you need to.
When your brain says: You are worthless. You will never amount. Respond with: NO! That’s not the truth. I AM good enough.
When your brain says: You are a horrible mother. You were late dropping them off AGAIN. You were late picking them up AGAIN. You are terrible – you forgot to send in that paper work. RESPOND WITH: NO! That’s NOT the truth: I AM a good mother.
When your brain says: Why can’t you just get it TOGETHER. The house is a mess. The laundry hasn’t been done – you are TERRIBLE. Respond with the TRUTH: NO! I AM a good wife.
When your brain says: Wow, you really sucked at that presentation! You really messed up in that meeting… Respond with: NO! I AM a good [plug in job title].
At the end of the day, our brain likes to lie. It likes to run on the emotions of the moment. That isn’t always good. A few years ago I made a MAJOR mistake at the office. It was heart-breaking for me because I had worked really hard, but at the end of the day it didn’t matter. And when the project completely fell apart I made a mistake…a lot of mistakes. I was written up and it CRUSHED me. After a few weeks my boss pulled me aside and said, “You need to quit walking around like the world is coming to an end. Hold your head up. It’s over, you need to move on.” It was true. I felt like I would never gain upper management’s trust again. (The old mantra ‘You’re only as good as you’re last…) But here I am, several years later in the same position at the same company. I had to readjust my mindset. I had to realize that that was one moment in time. I had been holding onto it like I’d just written my death sentence and it was TAKING ME OVER.
Jeremiah 17:9 says “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
I will never understand why my brain wants me to focus on the negative over the positive. What I do know is that I need to focus on the positive more than ever. We are in a world that loves negativity. It sells. It draws attention. I need to speak TRUTH over myself so that I can speak TRUTH over my family.
There is power in the words we speak.
Speak truth today. Take it a day at a time. I promise you will see a change…and if you find that you’ve stopped – just start again:)