Facing the F Word…

face-your-fearsHa…you thought it was THAT F word didn’t you? Okay, I’m kidding. I actually kind-of hate it when people do that…but yet, here we are…and I went there…

I didn’t actually mean THAT F word…Nope, I meant the word FEAR.

F-E-A-R

I have a lot of fear in my life. I think it’s due to the anxiety…regardless I have realized that the way I handle it transfers to my kids so I have to get it under control.

I am AMAZING in bizarre medical situations…the times I have had to cart the kids to the doc because of broken bones and stitches is ridiculous, but I have boys that are BOYS so we’ve had our share. That time Tim got shot? I thought it was a joke…until the paramedics got on the phone to give me the 411. Oops…okay, what hospital, where do I go?

Multiple people have told me that they are impressed with how calm I am…

What they don’t see are the nights before giant events where I have my freak-out moments on the phone with friends or at the house with Tim. They also don’t see me analyzing the CRUD out of comments I’ve made or situations that have occurred…and during National Disasters – yup, I’m the one glued to the news channels – doesn’t matter the channel – I’ve surfed it.

Being an overly analytical person can definitely cause me to fear some things. I have a MASSIVE fear of being fired. Not sure why, but I do…for the longest time ANY time  a superior would ask me to come into their office I would immediately go to the worst case scenario.

Today, I headed out for my sister’s bachelorette weekend. I was up crazy early (see my Facebook feed to find out why…it involves pumpkins and Louis Sacher) and of course my sweet 6 year old woke up wanting to watch his Kindle (we’ve instituted a No-Kindle During the Week Rule). I got him back in bed (but in OUR bed) and was saying good-bye when he started to cry.

He didn’t want MY PLANE TO CRASH.

Um…there have not been any recent plane crashes. I have NO CLUE where it came from, but there we were watching our youngest share his fear with us.

When I’m scared I talk to myself:

You CAN do this.

You ARE NOT WRONG in your thinking.

Your ARE capable!

The WORST is NOT going to happen.

We’ve been noticing that this same sweet boy is starting to utilize major negative phrasing…not about others, but about HIMSELF!

It breaks my heart EVERY time. I have to immediately stop what I’m doing and address it. I was at Walmart the last time it happened. We are in the store and I’m encouraging my child to yell out “I AM Smart!!!” “I AM Strong!!!”

I’m sure people thought I was CRAZY – but I didn’t care. I WILL NOT LET MY KIDS FALL VICTIM TO NEGATIVE THOUGHTS!

I have a CRAZY overconfident-borderline arrogant because he is SO confident in himself- child and I have another…wanting desperately to be like his older brother, but being a completely different child with totally different desires and talents.

Fear is the same as negative thoughts – they are ways to pull you away from how God wants us to feel about ourselves…

We stopped this morning and prayed with him together…and today when I was debating trying something new, I sucked it up and DID IT…because fear of the unknown is NOT going to control me…

Don’t let it control you. Pray through it and think about all the times that you wanted to let fear win, but didn’t – how did that feel? Keep looking to those moments and how the worst did not happen and let it guide your future experiences…you won’t regret it!

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